This weekend I had the choice of attending a workshop on “Learning to Manage Emotional Trigger Points” or attending an ordination ceremony for classmates who are being ordained Catholic deacons (and who will soon be ordained priests). Since past ordinations I’ve attended have tended to be a bit on the triggering* side for me, it seemed fitting to opt for the workshop.
Part of my decision to leave the Catholic Church has to do with needing to distance myself from negative triggering events. I miss attending Mass on Sundays, but I don’t miss being reminded on a regular basis of the hurt inflicted on me and on people I love by Catholics in positions of authority. I don’t miss the feeling of tense dread that would sometimes invade my prayer, painful memories surfacing and making it difficult to stay for the entire liturgy.
I am happy for my classmates who were ordained this weekend. I know that they are doing their best to follow the Spirit’s call and serve God and neighbor. I will continue to try to do the same.
*Being triggered is when a person “experiences a current event that activates feelings or thoughts associated with a past event, often a traumatic one.”